Jun 30, 2008

Keeping Busy

What does one do when one cannot run power tools, varnish or paint? One sews. (And finds and prices everything remotely sellable in the house for the yard sale.)

I've been pretty productive and I've gotta say I'm proud of my handy work once again. I've been cleaning the house, de-cluttering in order to "stage" it for showing and I've organized every closet in the place. I'm also prepping for a yard sale which I decided to have this weekend.

Anyhoo, Jason has this little shelf thing where he shoves all of his books and papers and such for school and it looks really cluttery. So I decided to cover it up. Got some cheap fabric at good old Marden's and whipped up this little slip cover thing. I like it.
Also, remember that blue glider rocker Jason got me for mother's day to rock the baby in? Well I didn't want it blue and I had always kind of toyed with the idea of trying to re-cover it. Well, I stumbled across THE PERFECT fabric at Marden's (the place is wonderful people!) and tackled the job off the cuff. It's no professional job but I am quite pleased and now have my very own custom rocker! Wahoo!


We looked at houses today from 89k to 107k. Scary. Very, very scary. That is all I can really say. The land is looking better and better. We'll know tomorrow if we can get a loan for it. And our house goes on the market Monday. We have to get all the painting done by then. AHHHH!

Oh, I also had my appointment with my midwife today. All is looking good. My uterus is already at my belly button and I asked her if the things I have been feeling could be the baby moving. She said it very well could be. So that's exciting. They're also scheduling my 20 week sonogram which is super exciting. We'll get to find out what the baby's gender is and then the registering for things will begin. Yay1

Say Hello to Mr. York...and his CRAZY wife!

Well it's pretty darn official. Jason got a verbal offer for a job! (I'm still waiting 'till I see it in writing until I exhale.) But it looks like he will be a high school math teacher at Lawrence High School which is in Fairfield Maine. Fairfield Maine is about 1hr 20min drive south of where we live right now.

So you know what that means....it's movin' time. Remember that post I wrote a while back about that peace that I had found. Well here's a little evidence that I may not be as super spiritual as you may think. Because I can't seem to find that darned peace anywhere since about Thursday night when I came home from a 14 hour shift and Jason greeted me by saying, "Our realtor is coming tomorrow to take pictures of our house so he can put it on the market." Yeah, I think it flew out the window right about then.

You see, there were still some finishing touches we were planning to do before we ever sold our house like finish trim work, finish the kitchen island, paint the basement and put trim down there and oh yeah, paint the whole outside of the house. Now we're trying to accomplish that all by next weekend! And I can't do a whole lot 'cause a lot of it requires painting!

Then there is the whole moving in general...I really don't want to leave this home! It's a really bad time in the market to sell because we won't really get back what we've put into it. I really don't want to pack everything up! I really don't want to have to fix another house up! And the idea of clearing land from step one and putting in a trailer completely overwhelms me! And I really wanted to raise our baby here!

Then there's the what ifs. What if our house sells to fast and we're homeless? What if we can't get a loan for land and a trailer? What if the house doesn't sell at all and we're stuck here? What if we do get a loan and start on land and then the house doesn't sell and we're stuck with both payments? Can you see how I'm driving myself crazy?

So I spend my days freaking out. My mind is racing along with my heart and I can't sleep well. My usually loving husband has reached his patience threshold and most days wants to ship me to Abu Dabi until the entire move is over.

But none the less we are moving forward. We looked at land yesterday. And we are looking at houses today. Even thought it's the scenario that stresses me out the most, I think we are leaning toward the land trailer thing. There is cheap land 3 doors down from some great friends of ours, it would put us in the best financial situation and I would have the option to stay home with kiddos and we would get to fulfill our dream of building our own home over time. We are certainly praying for God to clearly show us what direction he would have us go in and are trying (that being the operative word there) to trust that He will work it all out.

Jun 24, 2008

Over The Shoulder Baby Holder

First a shout out to my friends Peter and Shannon who had their baby girl Charlotte last night! Congratulations! Since she posted that she was going into be checked at 4pm and that she was "a little achy" but nothing major, and Peter posted that Charlotte was born at 8:36pm I'm imagining it was a fairly short and hopefully not too horrendous labor! Yay! Now I will spend LOTS of time around Shannon and believe that the same fate will rub off on me through osmosis! :)

So I have to admit that I am pretty darn proud of myself. Have you seen these baby slings? Some name brands are ring sling or maya sling and so on. They are a essentially a really hippy, yet oh so comfortable and practical way to carry your baby. The baby feels safe and enveloped and you can be hands free! They also work for children to toddler age because toddlers can sit in them on your hip or front or back and you can be hands free once again. And the extra fabric that hangs down can be used as a nursing cover while your child nurses in the the sling, hands free. Can you tell I like the hands free bit!? Well let me tell ya, these bad boys retail for anywhere from $40 to $90 (if you opt for the all natural, all organic hemp). Being the bargain lover that I am and also enjoyed a good craft here and there I decided I could make one MYSELF!

I found AMAZING fabric at Marden's that I cannot get over how much I love. (seriously if you see me in person you might have to ask me to stop talking about it) It's woven so it does not have a "no show" side. It's soft and comfy with just the right amount of give and it's striped so it's great for boy or girl and will coordinate with many outfits. Then I got two rings at Home Depot and don't worry people...they're rated to hold 200 pounds! But it's really the stitching job that's
key so lets hope mine holds!

And the grand total of how much I spent.....drum roll please.......$8.16!!!!! Anyhoo, here's the finished product. Make sure to scroll to the last ones to see my 14 pound, jet black baby model. He LOVED it!

Jun 17, 2008

Baby's Frist Hiking/Camping Trip

After quite a while of feeling awful and sitting around doing nothing I was dying to get out of the house and enjoy what I enjoy most! So we planned a camping/hiking trip to MDI. A bunch of our friends are down there for the summer running Acadia Leadership Adventure so we got to visit them as well! We went down on Saturday and hiked on the quiet side of the island around Somes Sound. Then we had dinner with friends, dessert with other friends, and relaxed around the campfire for the night with friends too. We camped at a beautiful spot and the next morning we met up with friends again, had coffee in town and then browsed the shops. We headed home in the afternoon and grabbed a late lunch at Friendly's in Ellsworth because I love that place and there aren't any left in the Bangor area. It was a great weekend! Here are some pictures!

A baby belly shot from the mountaintop. I did notice that I winded and tired a little more quickly but it was nothing that some more frequent rest breaks didn't take care of nicely. We hiked a twisty turny loop that topped three peaks. Here are some pretty pictures of Somes Sound. I just love it!Here's the view from the campsite, Jason breaking down the tent and fellow camping buddies, the newlyweds Sam and Tara eating breakfast.

Jun 9, 2008

Sarah's Cure for Stress

I loved Sarah and Amy's comments on my last post. Thanks gals! I got much encouragement from them! And I also found my own little cure to relieve some stress! I cleaned...and organized...and purged.

You see, there are not many things in this world that we have control over. I learn that lesson anew each day it seems. So when things seem to be spinning elsewhere, I focus on what I can do. And what I can do is eliminate the physical chaos around me. That seems to be quite soothing for this gal.

So I emptied every drawer, shelve and hanger of all my clothing and I sorted, washed, folded and organized. I ended up with a ginormous tote full of winter clothes and summer clothes that won't fit because of my growing belly and...eh hem... shall we say, newly well endowed chest. I also got an equally large tote full of clothes that I am getting rid of.

I think I'm going to do a yard sale and what doesn't go there will go to a clothing closet. There are a number of things I'm thinking we could sell. It would simplify life, give us a little cash and make for an easier move if/when we do.

So here my closet after this organizing rampage. It's a beautiful thing. Sometimes I just leave it open so I can look at it. :)

Jun 8, 2008

Change...BAD! Peace...GOOD!

I like to tell myself that I get extra stressed out these days because I'm super hormonally pregnant. While that may be true, I think I have to admit that being the super organized, like to plan everything kind of person that I am...it's really just me and not the hormones.

So here's the situation...Baby on the way and it is our goal that I will either stay at home with the kiddos or at least only work part time. However, there has to be enough money to allow for that.

Therefore Jason is trying to get a teaching job again this summer and will finish his degree as he teaches. If he gets a job far away we will have to move. (The extent to which I HATE moving could be the topic of a whole entire post.) The price range of the houses that we will be looking at will be far inferior to the house we have now and all that we've done to it. And the house could be far away from all my friends and supports, including our church.

If he gets a job near here, I will still have to work in order to stay in this home. And we're throwing around the idea of buying land, putting a trailer on it and building our dream house out back as we can afford it so that in the long run we can live mortgage free. While the dream house and mortgage free part sound great, the long haul to get there sounds taxing and evokes chaotic images in my mind. (Recap - Chaos is NOT Sarah's friend.)

And if Jason doesn't get a job, we will have to sell the house and do something because when I'm on unpaid maternity leave for three months and all he's getting is a grad student stipend, we literally won't stay afloat financially.

So those are all the scenarios and I've tried to hold this home with an open hand but it is becoming increasingly apparent that I have really become attached. We have worked so hard to get our house the way we want it. We have a great yard for kids to play in. We live on a dead end street. We have fantastic neighbors. We have good friends close by all around. And I LOVE my job! So you can see why I'm FREAKIN' out about the possible (and when I get real about it, the inevitable) changes.

However, the Lord spoke to me in a very timely manner today through our pastor's sermon and through His Word. He reminded me that God is the God of Peace. So much so that He died for us so that He could leave us His peace. And we can go through ANY trial in our life with peace from God and come out on the other end grateful and praising Him, or we can go through it without His peace and come out on the other end saying, "Why did I worry so much?"

If I continue in the path I have started down, you can surely lump me in the latter category. And that I do not want. Every other tough spot Jason or I or both of us has ever been in, the Lord has provided for us. Often times in truly miraculous ways. Why do I so easily forget that? He will surely do it again. And no matter what happens, no matter how nice or run down our house is, no matter how many things we have or don't have, no matter how tumultuous the change is, we will have a beautiful child and we will have each other. And that's all that matters.

He gave me verses to linger on like these:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." ~John 14:27

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33

Jun 7, 2008

Attack of the Yogurt Covered Raisins

I've been trying to eat healthily, as much as my queasy tummy and sensitive sniffer will allow. I've discovered that nuts and raisins and prunes are all agreeable. And I've been getting the organic variety.

I was grocery shopping the other day. As I rounded the corner to those "dispense it yourself" natural food doo-hickeys, I saw a young college aged man standing in front of them looking absolutely bewildered. "Oh poor guy." I thought to myself with an internal chuckle, "It's probably the first time he's ever shopped on his own. I'm a pro, if he needs help I can show him the ropes." I believe that slight smugness was my first mistake and God perhaps used the following events to remind me of my true imperfect nature.

I snuggly wrapped the bag around the "spout" and held it tightly as I pulled the lever to release my tasty little treats. And then the lever became stuck open and more and more (pricey organic) yogurt covered raisins poured into my bag. I began jamming the lever over and over trying to get it unstuck. I finally did, but with all that jamming and moving, my bag had slipped and now the raisins were cascading out of the spout onto the tray, down my jacket sleeve as I tried to hold them in, and all over the floor!

I finally got the bag back in place to catch the rest of the raisins. And then I began scooping up what had fallen out onto the tray. Next I did my best to empty my jacket sleeve of these little buggers. I tied it up, weighed out my (10 pounds and 100 dollars worth) of yogurt covered raisins, muddled something under my breath and rolled my cart away.

It wasn't until a few aisles down, when I reached up to grab my lemon lift tea, that the few raisins that were still stuck in my sleeve became dislodged. They slid down my outstretched arm toward my shoulder and then kept on going, right down my back and dropped out from underneath my jacket right around the bum area. The two moms and their four children shot me some weird looks and quickly walked the other way as the kids asked why that lady was pooping raisins and the moms began a quick lesson on why it's wrong to shop lift.

Jun 2, 2008

Co-sleeper or Cat Bed? Or both?!

Wow. Today has been a great day! In addition to seeing our little one again and finding out that all is going well, some other really great things happened!
  • First, the most important of course. At the doctor's today I found out that I have only gained 0.6 pounds in the first trimester. Words cannot describe how happy that makes me!
  • Second, I am 3 glorious days away from officially being done with my first trimester and as this cold wears off I am very happy to report that my energy is returning and my nausea seems to be fading. I even got out and exercised this morning! Wahoo!
  • And third, I found the exact style and color co-sleeper that I have been looking for on craigs list for a deeply discounted price and went and picked it up today! If you do not know what a co-sleeper is, it's basically a better bassinet. It allows your baby to be at your bedside, right at the level of your bed so you can feed throughout the night without getting up and you can reach over and touch your baby and soothe your baby right from a sleeping position. Here it is!
As I was setting it up...literally before I had unfolded the entire thing, Quinn claimed it for his own. It has this zippered compartment below (not sure why it's zippered) but he jumped right in and made himself at home. He let me know how unhappy he was when I shooed him out by refusing to move and then finally giving me a disgusted meow and look as he begrudgingly moved his behind. I suppose he could sleep down there :)

Unexpected Suprise!

Today I had my second check-up with my midwife. This was the day we got to hear the heartbeat. She kept moving the little thing around and around and alas could not find the heartbeat. She assured us that they are hard to find and hear and told us that she would do a sonogram to find it. Jason and I were both a little freaked but I was psyched that we would get to see our little one again as you do not normally get another ultrasound until 20 weeks! The results were AMAZING! See for yourself!

In 4 weeks our baby tripled in size and is now 7.34 centimeters. It no longer looks like a little blobette but now completely looks like a baby! We saw it move all over the place. It picked it's back up off of the wall of my uterus, move it's head up and down and moved its arms and legs around. We could see the brain and the spine and the bones in it's little limbs. It's arms and hands and fingers and legs and feet and toes are all really well defined. And it's profile is the cutest thing I have EVER seen! She got a really good picture of the profile. Unfortunately the scanned version does not do justice to the clarity of the actual picture.

(We also saw and heard the heartbeat. It was beating at about 150 bpm, perfectly normal!)

I mean seriously, here's the before and after. 9wks 4day and 13wks 4days from 2.84 cm to 7.34cm:

You cannot tell me that there is not a God that designed orchestrates this miraculous and unbelievable complex process of the creation of new life! Our baby is just under 3 inches from crown to rump and about the size of a small pear! Yet all of it's body, limbs and major organs are already formed! It has eyes and ears, nose and mouth, brain, limbs, digits, bones and it has the adorable profile of a newborn! I am in awe...absolute awe! And I am in love already! Jason will most likely not admit this to you in person but on the ride home as we sat in silence just processing it all he sheepishly said, "You know, I ALMOST teared up in there." I think he's smitten as well :)

Jun 1, 2008

Baby Bump and Blabber

Now I may have put on a few pounds over the last almost 5 years of being content and happily married but I'd say it distributed out pretty evenly and I also have to say that I've always stayed active and kept a good figure. Soooo, this is not a picture of my added poundage. (I've only gained a couple in the last three months yay!) This is a picture of my baby bump (at 13 1/2 weeks)!
Because everyone knows their own body best, I could see changes early on and as time went by, feel my waistbands tightening. But in the last week or so I've actually started to see a bonafied little belly. And now I know I'm not imagining it. While you can't tell by just looking at me because I don't go around pulling my clothing skin tight, I do believe this picture confirms things. At the urging of my mother I had Jason take a picture. She suggested starting now and taking a belly picture each month. So we decided to let the fun begin.

My friend Esther is about a month further along than I am and she recently posted about her thoughts and feelings about being pregnant. I can identify with much of it and agree with her about being honest. At first I was SOOO excited to be pregnant I thought that the 40 weeks couldn't go by fast enough. And there is certainly still an element of "I can't wait to see our baby's face!" But now theres only 6 months left and that just seems like too short a time to get prepared!

Before when I wasn't showing at all and wasn't sick yet, I found myself in disbelief thinking it was too good to be true. Then when I got really really sick I didn't really think a super lot about the actually baby inside me because I was too focused on feeling miserable (and I think if I had thought about the little tyke in all my angst, I'd have had some serious resentment issues to work through!) But now that things are looking up and I've got a little bump it's like WHOA! I'm pregnant. There's a baby in there.

When we see a baby in person or on TV, inevitably either Jason or I will turn to each other kind of wide eyed and say, "We're gonna have one of those." The reality is certainly setting in and I find myself thinking a lot...certainly too much. I LOVE kids and we've wanted our own for a while now, but actually having them is a whole different ball game. I'm going to go through labor. We're going to have a little life in our charge, completely dependent on us 24 hours a day! Life is going to change. Things are going to be hectic and harder and juggling relationship, family, friends, work, play, the home etc. etc. is going to become infinitely more complicated and difficult. We'll need to discipline and instill values and faith and teach responsibility. Oh people I could go on and on.

We pray each day for wisdom and guidance. And I specifically pray for His grace and the ability to slow down and take everything as it comes, one step at a time! Yay babies! Thank-you God!

What a Difference a Month Makes

I beautified my back yard further last week. Jason and I teamed up to move the wood pile and logs from the backyard to the side of house. Now it's out of view! Yay! And then I made a whole new garden! The reason why I am most proud of this garden is that except for the dirt and mulch I didn't spend a penny on it! (And I didn't spend much on the dirt and mulch cause my mom helped me with that!) I used all plants that I already had, or that were growing in my woods. I dug up a Solomon Seal that my mom gave me last year. I also dug up some lilies and Hostas from stuff I already had. Then I found some beautiful pink and blue wild flowers all around and some Johnny Jump ups in the woods. The pansies I got with some of the money my mom donated and the Sweet Allysem I already had! yay! I can't wait to watch it grow!
And the rest of these pictures are of my other gardens which have grown SOOO much since I last posted about them! And I'm super excited that we'll be home during the month of June to actually watch things bloom!

I Just Can't Win

For the last 2 1/2 months my life has consisted of working, sitting on the couch, sleeping and occasionally walking or gardening when I feel half decent. NOT FUN! However, now 1/2 way through my 13th week I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hadn't thrown up in a a record week and a half. The nauseous all the time feeling was slowly dissipating and the tiredness was lifting.

We went down to Jason's family camp for memorial day weekend and I was actually feeling good enough to enjoy myself. We visited with all his aunts, uncles and cousins. I helped carry a few things to assist in putting the dock in. We went out on the party barge. It was great. Upon returning home on Monday I began getting a sore throat. Living in denial as I sometimes enjoy doing, I told myself it was the dry air and worked myself ragged hauling wood and logs, digging and planting, hauling dirt and spreading mulch and created a brand new garden in my backyard where the woodpile once lived.

Upon night fall I could no longer live in denial. I knew I was getting sick. I struggled through the work week, hitting the sack immediately every night to try to fight it off with sleep. But alas, my long Friday shift, little sleep on the overnight and then working till 5pm on Saturday sealed the deal. I've got a full blown sore throat, ears hurt, can't breath, awful cough, headache virus of some kind! Blah. And the worst part about it is that I can't take any cough medicine! Double blah.

And so just as I was feeling better...boom. Here I sit on the couch on a beautiful Sunday, sipping my tea and blogging to try to keep myself from going insane. But I tell you what! Once this passes I'll be in week 14 of my pregnancy and that's supposed to be the start of the honeymoon phase people. I want my honeymoon!

The Joys of Pregnancy - Revisited

It's worth reading a second time people...I believe I've even improved upon my last one.

Ever since I accidentally deleted my joys of pregnancy post, I've been a little disappointed. At first I thought it was no big deal but then I started thinking....I will eventually feel better in pregnancy and I think it would be a cryin' shame to forget all that I went through. I really think it needs to be memorialized somewhere. I'm keeping a journal to give to the baby, but somehow I just don't think that would be the appropriate place. So because I'm as sick as a dog (more to come on that in future posts) and have nothing else to do but sit on the couch, I'm going to do my best to recreate that graphic little post! Here goes :)

You know that commercial for Pepto Bismol? The one where some real odd ball people dance around with macarena like hand movements and sing, "Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!" Well, that could just as easily be a commercial for pregnancy! Except you'd have to add "hurling all the time, so constipated you look like you're already 6 months pregnant, and so tired you can't stay up past 9pm even if a herd of buffalo stampeded right over you head!" I'd like to see someone put that to a catchy tune.

The first trimester has been no walk in the park, let me tell you, but I know others who've had it worse. Nonetheless I feel it will be very cathartic for me to vent all of this and share some of my 'joy' with you. Here are just some of the highlights.
  • There was the time that the puke was of such dense consistency that when I was throwing up at work (yes people that's right, it wasn't even my OWN toilet) it hit the toilet water and the water reverberated all the way back up (and that's quite a distance) and splashed me in the eye. I, literally, did not see that one comin'.
  • Then there was the time that I was hurling so often and so violently that I broke tiny little blood vessels all over my face...two days before I was to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's wedding. Lots of make-up people. Lots of make-up.
  • Then there was the time that I like to refer to as my near death experience. I was in the bathroom for hours, on the toilet with stuff literally coming out both ends. My stomach was in so much pain, I broke out in the sweats, and I was groaning like I was already in labor. Poor Jason, he kept taking the puke bucket in front of me, running outside hosing and out and running it back to me as fast as be possibly could before I hurled again. I do not know where bodily fluids were still coming from. I was exhausted and was pretty convinced that was how I was going to go. I think Jason was pretty scared I was dying too and numerous times wanted to call someone to see if I needed to go to the hospital. Thank the good Lord there was only ONE of those episodes.
  • Then we transitioned into the phase that was quite the opposite of above. Anytime Jason would go to the bathroom or pass gas and remark about it (as many men apparently love to do) I would practically break out in tears and angrily demand that he stop cruelly taunting me with his ability to have normal bowel movements and expel pent up gas from his body.
  • This one is classic. I've got the nose of a bloodhound people. They could take me into schools and I'm pretty sure I could sniff out drugs. Each morning is anew and I never know what smell is going to set me off. I was laying in bed, trying not to hurl when, what seemed like the most foul smell on earth, wafted to my nose. The following conversation ensued:
ME: Are you making COFFEE!?
JASON: Yeah, why?
ME: UUUuuggg! Open a window.
JASON: Okay. (As he moves with the speed of a sloth towards the kitchen window)
ME: HURRY! Open the window! Open the window and throw the coffee out!
JASON: What!?
JASON: Wow. Okaaay.

a few moments pass

ME: Jason. There is STILL coffee in this house! WHY IS THERE STILL COFFEE IN THIS HOUSE!?
JASON: HOW did you smell that!? It's in a sealed travel mug! (as he runs from the office out to the garage, coffee mug in hand.)

This is why the first thing you would see if you entered our garage today is our coffee maker :)

I think those are the best ones (that my privacy filter, which is obviously not very strong, will allow me to share on the internet. Trust me people there's been even worse moments.) and give you a pretty clear pictures of the joys I have thus far experienced in being pregnant. I am anxiously awaiting that "honeymoon phase that my midwife says will come between 14 and 20 weeks. (Oh please, Lord Jesus, let it be closer to 14!) I just keep telling myself "This will pass, it's all worth it....this will pass, it's all worth it...." I pretty sure that's Jason's new mantra too :)