Feb 27, 2012

Daddy's Coming Home...Hoooray!!!

I'm not going to lie.  It's been a rough weekend.  Hubby's been away fishing Sat morning-Mon evening.  It's alway a little more challenging on my own, but this one's been a doosy!  And not real pretty.  Picture this:
To start with, I've been (rather unsuccessfully) fighting off some sickness for over a month now.  The immune system is weaker when preggo so I'm sure that's the deal.  And I'm just more tired this pregnancy, and have more aches and pains and issues than with Ella.  But to really top it off,  RIGHT before Jason left, Ella go sick.  She was more sick than I've seen her in over a year.  I could only control her temperature to 102-103 on CONSTANT medication.  Her eyes were bloodshot and droopy, she wasn't eating much, and she was crying a lot...just because her body hurt so much.  I was worried sick over it.  It was a virus that needed to run it's course...but that course was not pretty and it took a good 3 days...but now she's still kind of out of sorts.  Picture this and this: 
So my initial internal reaction is to scream, "DON'T GO!"... to beg and plead.  My head tells me...I can't do this alone...pregnant, tired, sick, with a sick child for three days. 

But on the other hand...this is a trip Jason has been planning for a long time...  to bond with other Godly men ...other Godly men that he rarely gets to see anymore because they all live so far apart.  This is a man that works so hard...SO HARD to support this family every day at work and at home...  this is a man that, because of our move south and our growing family, does not get to do the ice-fishing and outdoorsy things he loves as much as he used to...  if this trip got cancelled it would no doubt be postponed a whole nother year...  this is a man who deserves this time... this is a man who will be a better, more fulfilled, more satisfied man, recharged for his family when he comes home if he has this time.

So I decided to go against my initial reaction, what would be my typical reaction and suck it up.  And not JUST suck it up...but really send him off with my blessing(Because how much fun or freedom is your hubby going to experience on his time away if you send him off resentfully or begrudgingly?  really?) I recently read a post about 50 ways to love your husband and one of them was, "ENCOURAGE GUY TIME ENTHUSIASTICALLY".  It really struck me....do I do that?  Enthusiastically?  So I decided to do that.

Instead of asking him to stay...I asked him what groceries he needed and went and bought them.  Instead of sulking, I wrote him a little love note telling him how proud I am of him that he initiates and makes time to bond with other Godly men.  Instead of telling him how hard it was going to be without him, I etched out rough plans for the weekend so I would be less overwhelmed and let him know that.  It was against my nature.  It was hard.  But I have learned a lot! 

Now... am I pefect?  Heck no.  Did I hold in all my feelings and emotions and not let him know how things were going?  No...and maybe I could have a little bit more for his sake.  I did let him know how sick I felt and what a hard afternoon I had Sat.  I did tell him about the numerous tantrums Ella had Sunday, kicking off with one right in the middle of our church foyer with my hands so full I could not just swoop her up and carry her out kicking and screaming.  Picture this:
I didn't do it so he'd feel guilty, but because I'm a verbal processor and I needed a little empathy and boost of support... a little, "you did well...you've got this".  And you know what?  He gave that to me.  The normally HoRrIFic, two-second phone talker was kind... sweet... supportive... and patient.  It was good.  (As CCC staff hear so often...)  HARD...but Good. 
And am I counting the moments until he gets home this evening?  You bet your butt I am.  Will I most likely collapse on the couch and hand over all responsibility to him for the rest of the night?  After I greet him at the door with a kiss and "how was the fishing"...you bet your bottom dollar I will.   :)

So that was my weekend.  How was yours? ;)   

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

I am so sorry that I have not been there to help lighten your load a bit. Sounds like a terrible awful weekend. :-(