Jan 10, 2012

Long and Deep

The day I wrote that last post Ella's nap was long and deep, as was my time with the Lord. It was sweet. And I needed it!

I spent time in the Word, but even more time praying. And I spent more time sitting in silence and listening for that still small voice than I did speaking (a rarity for me) but something I need to do more often! And He met me there. Oh did He meet me.

I so clearly heard Him saying that I need to focus on the things HE gives to me, not the things I set out for myself due to guilt, idealism, perfectionism, and comparison. Oh so true. How often do I write the plans and set the goals and not allow Him to do so?

So I asked what those things were and I waited. He very clearly impressed two things on my mind over and over.
#1) Time with HIM.
#2) With the energy I have returning, make sure I give it to Ella and Jason being present and intentional.

That's it. Two things. Simple. Sometimes hard. But totally doable.

And more than anything I truly did feel His grace wash over me. And I let it. The thought was bold and clear and lasting. Recieve My grace. You'll never be perfect. So don't get bogged down by your shortcomings. It won't motivate you, it will only serve to rob you of the JOY of right now! Holy Hannah Amen to that!

And so that's what I'm doing. Focusing on the things HE gave me and allowing His grace to soak in every moment, every misstep. And it is nourishing my soul.

I'm still up to date on my Bibl in a year plan...wahoo! And the devotions and prayer time that go along with that are my fuel! I'm not pushing myself on the mornings and I'm not feeling bad about it. I still get up when Ella wakes me. But we lay in bed much less, and we're cutting back to two shows each morning. (THAT, my friends, has not flown so well with the little. A monster I created over the past few months I tell you! A PBS watching monster :) I spend time with the Lord during her naps and either work out when J is home, or while she watches her shows. It's working out quite nicely.

Thank-you friends for kind and insightful words. Check out THIS post by my friend Amy on the subject. Love it.

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