Attack of the Yogurt Covered Raisins

I've been trying to eat healthily, as much as my queasy tummy and sensitive sniffer will allow. I've discovered that nuts and raisins and prunes are all agreeable. And I've been getting the organic variety.

I was grocery shopping the other day. As I rounded the corner to those "dispense it yourself" natural food doo-hickeys, I saw a young college aged man standing in front of them looking absolutely bewildered. "Oh poor guy." I thought to myself with an internal chuckle, "It's probably the first time he's ever shopped on his own. I'm a pro, if he needs help I can show him the ropes." I believe that slight smugness was my first mistake and God perhaps used the following events to remind me of my true imperfect nature.

I snuggly wrapped the bag around the "spout" and held it tightly as I pulled the lever to release my tasty little treats. And then the lever became stuck open and more and more (pricey organic) yogurt covered raisins poured into my bag. I began jamming the lever over and over trying to get it unstuck. I finally did, but with all that jamming and moving, my bag had slipped and now the raisins were cascading out of the spout onto the tray, down my jacket sleeve as I tried to hold them in, and all over the floor!

I finally got the bag back in place to catch the rest of the raisins. And then I began scooping up what had fallen out onto the tray. Next I did my best to empty my jacket sleeve of these little buggers. I tied it up, weighed out my (10 pounds and 100 dollars worth) of yogurt covered raisins, muddled something under my breath and rolled my cart away.

It wasn't until a few aisles down, when I reached up to grab my lemon lift tea, that the few raisins that were still stuck in my sleeve became dislodged. They slid down my outstretched arm toward my shoulder and then kept on going, right down my back and dropped out from underneath my jacket right around the bum area. The two moms and their four children shot me some weird looks and quickly walked the other way as the kids asked why that lady was pooping raisins and the moms began a quick lesson on why it's wrong to shop lift.