Ready

My last day of work was last Thursday. It still has not sunk in that I'm not headed back to work this week. I got my first job was when I was just about 15 I think...teaching ski lessons at Hermon Mountain...and from then on I was always employed, and in school and sometimes doing an unpaid internship in addition. It's not that I won't be working (any stay at home mom will tell you it's one tough gig!)....It's just so weird to think that I won't be on anyone's payroll or punching a time clock. I am beyond grateful for the amazing privilege of being able to be a full time mommy. I have felt like my energy is so split between work, and Jason and Ella that none of them really get the me that I want them to get. To be able to not be pulled in so many directions will be wonderful. To be able to focus solely on my family is beyond amazing! Focusing on her spiritual, emotional, educational and physical development as well as the spiritual and emotional health of our family and my relationship with Jason is a hearty task. One that I do not take lightly, one that I think is worthy of all that I am and one that I am anxious to begin without other distractions.

I feel like I am in waiting. The place we are in now has always felt like a holding take to me. It feels that way even more so now with boxes piled high, things strewn about, plastic tableware and all the homey-ness packed away. I cannot wait to be settled down south. To greet the day by picking up my beaming child, to send Jason off to work with lunch and a kiss, to take walks to the park, to play in the backyard, to eat dinner together as a family and discuss our day, to relax with my hubby each evening, to have weekends together where we're not just trying to catch up from the week before, to be rooted in a church there, to serve in the community, to build great friendships....

I know it may seem idealistic to some of you, and no it won't be perfect, but we will have those things and it will be imperfectly great! I feel like I've been loosening my grip on the life we have up here and shifting towards a looking forward to what is in store for us ahead. I feel ready. I feel like once we get settled we will be "starting our life" as a family with children. It's like we haven't been able to start it yet because we've been in such a state of constant flux since before Ella was born. I long for stability and simplicity and a slower pace. I long to plant roots, to begin this new chapter in our lives that will hopefully be a very long one. I am so sad to close this one...but I can now truly say I feel ready to begin the next...

FYI: The movers come June 16th! In case you're doing the calculations...Yes. That is 8 days away!