Free at Last!

Yesterday was my last day at work! Wahoooo! It was not what I expected.

You see, Sunday morning I came down with the worst sickness I have had since 11th grade mononucleosis! I'm not even kidding....there were multiple times that I wondered if this was the end! I had a 103 degree temperature, knife-like stabbing pain in my throat every time I even thought about swallowing, pounding headache, alternating chills and sweating spells, and so much pain in my joints and mucsles each time I moved an inch that it brought tears to my eyes. Seriously, Jason wouldn't even sleep in the same bed as me because I was so sick and he was so afraid of getting it! But at my work, you only get 1 sick day in your first six months and I had already been sick once so I had no sick time to use. But it doesn't even matter because you can't use any of your sick time in the last 30 days you are there. Crazy I know!

To add to that, we got a monster snowstorm Monday morning. (Which I would usually love, but not in this case.) You see, at our job we travel to our cases. Some are up to two hours away...in Northern Maine. And we don't get snow days! If you don't want to risk your life on the roads you can just go in to the office and do paper work but you have to use vacation time to cover the case time. Which wasn't even an option for me because you don't get vacation time in your first six months and even if I did, I can't use it in my last 30 days! Crazy I know!

So my only other option was to stay home with no pay. Yeah, we probably could have swung it fiinancially. But then we're talking about not getting to see the families and children that I told would see me one last time and have some closure. And we're also talking about leaving the already understaffed team high and dry trying to get people to cover for me. And not to mention the fact that I was afraid of what people would think of me and if they would make me work an extra day or two to leave in good standing. So I took pain killers and fever reducers. I numbed the pain in my throat with a bottle of cepacol spray, armed myself with kleenex, cough drops and fluids and inched my way along the ridiculous roads at turtle-like speeds. All the while only getting through it by praying for strength and telling myself, "Three more days, Two more days, Last day!" And......I MADE IT!

It was such a whirlwind of a last three days that I haven't really stopped to process it all yet. I'm definitely relieved and feel a huge sense of freedom. But I am sad at the same time. I will miss my co-workers. I will miss some of the families. And it will be very hard not to know how some of the situations in some of those cases turned out. I guess this way I can at least make up my own ending and pretend that it's happy. (I know that sounds cinical but it's realistic in the situations I'm thinking of...believe me!)

Needless to say I was/am exhausted and plan on staying in my pajamas and not leaving the house all day while intermittently eating and sleeping...okay, maybe I'll take a couple bathroom breaks too!